30 life lessons I learned before turning 30

In the months leading up to March, I felt reflective and grateful for this upcoming new decade. And so, I decided to write down lessons I’ve learned that might help as you venture through your 20s. 🌸

1. You are what think

Your mind is powerful. Every thought that processes through it eventually becomes your subconscious and your truth. Every thought that you have eventually becomes an action, and therefore becomes how you behave and who you are.

We often go about our day with our thoughts flowing in and out without us noticing or realizing – and that needs to stop.

Notice what your mind constantly tells you. The thoughts that tells us who we are turn into our reality, and if we don’t believe in ourselves and have negative thoughts about our capabilities, then we limit our true potential.

As humans we often draw conclusions about ourselves – so let it be a positive one. Having a negative perception of who you are will then allow your brain to search for evidence to reinforce your belief, this is called confirmation bias. This also means that anything that comes your way that opposes that belief will automatically be dismissed by your mind since it doesn’t align.

Let’s put this into an example to make it clear – if someone decided not to believe in themselves and instead now believe that they are a failure. Their mind is now convinced that they are a failure, therefore any mistake they ever make will be rationalized by their mind as proof for being a failure, and any ounce of success will be a coincidence. Nothing they do will ever be good enough, and since their mind is reaffirming the belief that they are not good enough, their behavior will align, and therefore their chances of success will indeed decrease.

This is why having a positive outlook is so crucial. It isn’t foolproof recipe from failure, but believing in yourself and your capabilities will lead to better outcomes in your life, and will cause you to be a more productive person, which in turn increases your chances of success!

2. Productivity is not time-based, it’s energy-based

Productivity is often perceived as time-based and linear. What we always hear and tend to believe is that to be productive, we must be better at managing our time, that time management is the key to achieve ultimate productivity. In reality, productivity is about managing your energy. Every one of us have spurts of energy throughout our day, and that’s exactly what we have to hone into. When does this spurt of energy comes? How long does it last? Once we understand ourselves and know this valuable window in our day, we will be able to manage our energy in these hours of high-energy and high-productivity.

We are the most focused and creative version of ourselves in these hours, so notice your energy patterns throughout your day and manage them to access your most creative self!

3. Happiness is a choice

Happiness is not a destination we reach, it is a choice we make everyday. It’s important for us to understand that life is a journey, and so this journey will have joyful moments as well as challenges along the way. Being unhappy doesn’t mean that you’re a failure, but never fall into the trap of apathy. Moving and continuing along your journey while appreciating and choosing positivity and happiness will invoke more gratefulness and joyfulness.

4. Everybody has their own journey

Society places a checklist ever since we are born that we are supposed to follow and achieve. When one should graduate, when one should marry, when one should be successful, and when one should start a family. Well, guess what? Life isn’t linear.

Some people marry young, some older. Some have successful careers or businesses at a young age, and some at an older age. Some start a family early on, and some later on in life. Everyone is walking their own individual road, so don’t let society tell you otherwise.

There is no checklist or a time limit to what you need to achieve in your life or when you decide to do something. You can decide to start whenever the time is right for YOU. You’re not late. You’re on time.

5. Be in the present

Many of us waste our days worrying about the future or the past, both things we have absolutely no control over.

True joy and peace is in the little moments that you can savor in the present. Right now.

6. Never stop learning

Learning is a never-ending journey. Never feel ashamed to learn something new and be a beginner again.

A continuation in learning means a continuation in growth.

7. Low expectations, high gratitude

Being truly grateful for what you already have without the need to hunger for more or have high expectations, whether it’s from people or from anything in life, helps you reach peace, serenity, and contentment.

8. Less is more

Don’t clutter your surroundings. Only have what you need and donate whatever you don’t. Don’t hold on to things that you don’t use and that don’t serve you.

Give them to those who will value them the way you did once upon a time.

9. It’s okay to ask for help

Realize that extreme independence is a trauma response. It isn’t sustainable.

Realize that there are people around you who are willing to hold your hand and carry the weight along with you.

10. Never compare yourself with others

There might be “prettier” people, richer, more “successful” people around us according to societal standards and maybe even your own perception, but they’re not you. And that’s what truly matters.

11. Being true to yourself, honesty and authenticity

Always hold on to your beliefs and values, no matter how far you climb in life. Self-reflect and keep yourself in check and always be true to yourself and others.

The truth doesn’t cost you anything, but pretending to be someone you’re not can cost you everything.

12. It’s okay to make mistakes and fail

Failing and making mistakes is a part of living and the key to growing and evolving. Don’t stunt your own growth by not accepting them and learning from them.

It is natural to make mistakes and fail, learn how to take accountability and move passed them.

13. Invest in yourself

You are your biggest investment. The more you invest in yourself the more you’ll radiate like the sun to you and to everyone around you.

14. Be kind. to those you know and those you don’t

No matter how hard life is, and how bad someone might be treating you, don’t give in to them and reciprocate their negative behavior. Take the moment to absorb their anger and rise above it. If someone means harm or is draining you, keep your distance and set boundaries. Life is too short to be caught up in trivial matters.

Take the time to appreciate, compliment, and be kind to the people you know and the people you don’t. Your kind words and smile can be the reason someone’s entire day is better.

15. You only get one body in your lifetime, so treat it well

You don’t have to have the perfect body, because it doesn’t exist.

However, you do need to love yourself enough to care for it because it is continuing to carry you along your journey. So make sure to walk, drink a lot of water, eat well, and exercise to say thank you.

16. Whenever you can, travel

Wherever you go in the world becomes a part of you.

When you travel, you are introduced to the real you. Your mind will open up to the entire world of cultures and traditions. You’ll learn to accept and respect, and at the base of it all, you’ll realize that all humans are the one and the same.

17. Read!

Read a lot of books and travel in the world of imagination and a thousand lives in your mind. Live the lives of others and learn from them through their journeys.

18. Learn to truly listen without judgment

“Do not listen to someone with the intent to reply, but with the intent to understand.” – Stephen R. Covey

Many times, people listen to be able to reply Take the time to truly see through the person you’re speaking to and understand where they’re coming from and their perspective.

It’s okay to not agree with someone but still give them the respect and space to have their own vision and opinion.

19. When your intuition is telling you something, listen and believe it

You always have that little gut feeling that makes you comfortable or uncomfortable in a situation.

Listen to it, listen to you.

20. Learn to say no

Understand that while you have the whole world in your hands, you can’t be expected to do *everything*. It’s important to know your limits and when to say no.

You don’t need any reason or excuse to say no. You have every right to refuse to provide any explanation or justification.

21. Be attentive to those around you

People often show their true colors unintentionally.

Pay attention.

22. There’s never a perfect moment

to do whatever you want to do, to wear that perfect dress, or eat that perfect dessert. The moment is now.

23. Never trust a person who isn’t kind to animals

Enough said.

24. Express your emotions

Allow yourself to feel.

Validate your emotions, and give yourself permission to voice them out to those who need to hear them. Don’t bottle it up!

25. Just do it

Seriously, just get up and do it and embrace the results.

Perfectionism should not be an excuse.

Nothing will ever be achieved if we wait for perfection. Perfection doesn’t exist, so just do it.

26. Have a mindset that is set on evolving and growing

Always find the time to make the effort to grow and improve.

Self-reflection, taking responsibility, and truly viewing yourself for who you are and not who you want to be is the first step for bettering yourself.

27. Communication is a skill that must be honed

The need for honing our communication is often overlooked. Often, we strive to be the best at what we do or how we look, disregarding the root of it all – communicating who we are, our experiences, accomplishments, wants, and needs eloquently.

It isn’t about whether or not you’re the best at what you do, it’s about the eloquence of being able to put yourself out there and truly communicate who you are and your needs in the best way possible.

28. Taking accountability

If you are wrong, have the courage to acknowledge that you are, and even better to apologize when you need to.

29. Give back

Wherever you go in life, remember that as much as you take, give back. Give back smiles, love, positivity, experiences, etc…

Life is about living through the chapters of life in our journeys and sharing our stories with one another.

30. Don’t hate

Sometimes life gets you down, and you’re surrounded with those who don’t wish you well. Keep your distance, set your boundaries, and don’t hold grudges.

Holding on to that negative energy, whether it’s a grudge or hatred, will only weigh you down and impact you, not the other individual. Release those emotions and move on, God and life will handle those who didn’t treat you well.